Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Something I hadn't considered:

The bouquet.

Well, I had considered it, in the sense that I know what I want for my bouquet, and I have actually even practiced making it (well, not with the flowers I want, but with some other flowers that Will brought home one day, chosen by his lovely daughter.)

But I hadn't considered it, in the sense that I will be walking down the aisle accompanied by my two lovely sons.

Lots of books and articles counsel against this. They say that the symbolism of being "given away" by your children is bound to lead them to feel like you're abandoning them, or choosing your new spouse over them. And I think that could be true if I were doing something like the traditional father-daughter dealio, where they walk me down the aisle, then give me a hug and Will a handshake and go sit down. That would actually be pretty horrifying.

Instead, Will's kids will be with him, and mine are going to walk with me, and then all six of us will stay together for the ceremony. The symbolism has nothing to do with giving me away, and everything to do with the fact that even though Will and I are the ones getting married, the boyz and I are a package deal.

However, that brings us back to the bouquet. If I'm holding hands with two kids, I won't really be able to hold a bouquet. We could walk arm in arm, which would leave my hands free, but I'm not sure I want to do that; it seems a little cheesy and not really like something we would do in real life. It would sure be cheaper not to have a bouquet, but it's one of those wedding things that I've always pictured a certain way, so I'm not sure I'm ready to give it up.

Ideas? Suggestions?


sf said...

Carry the bouquet in one of your old baby slings. OOPS! Forgot, no mocking.

Masasa said...

Do you remember how it our wedding, we had the bridesmaids bouquets in pretty baskets. I don't know if you remember those, but they were really lovely.

That could easily be held in some fashion by your arm or whatever as the boys walk you down the aisle.

If that is still to cumbersome, why don't you pick up your bouquet at the end of the aisle, in some symbolic/ritual-style fashion???

Not sure what else to tell you.

Masasa said...

I forgot how the no mocking rule works in our family. Everyone just still mocks and then mocks the rule of no mocking by going, "oh sorry, forgot I wasn't supposed to mock." ;-)

Masasa said...

P.S. And finally, please disregard my spelling, grammar, and word useage errors. I am supposed to be asleep right now.

seppie said...

Sarah and I got in trouble last night from Dante for mocking a stranger (but not directly, and then we felt really bad after he chastised us) so that's why she wrote that. You're exactly right about the rule in our family...I'm leaning toward no bouquet right now. It would definitely save $$, and the roses for my bouquet are the only flowers we weren't going to be able to buy from a local grower.

Masasa said...

Good choice. I think no bouquet is smart and frugal.

I still think mocking isn't nice, but are you sure you don't want a baby sling overflowing with beautiful flowers? I mean, c'mon. That would be a great metaphor about the tender care a marriage needs so that it grows and flourishes.

Masasa said...

P.S. It's good to feel badly after being chastised regarding mockery. Especially strangers. Normal people don't like being mocked.

elsie said...

Hey seppie- probably too late, but we got all our flowers from 2G Roses- http://www.freshroses.com/index.html We had a tight budget, and they impressed me w/ their organic practices (they are the grower)